Big Fish Cares Even More: An Open Letter to My Audience

August 25, 2024

I DO NOT CONDONE PORNOGRAPHY, PEDOPHILIA, OR ANY ACTS AGAINST CHILDREN


I have spent the last few days in prayer and contemplation and it’s been really tough but at the same time an eye-opening experience for me. I want to start by speaking directly to those of you who were hurt or triggered by my recent podcast episode #99 that I have already taken down. 


I’m truly sorry for the pain I caused. I know now my decision to give this guest a platform and share a difficult story was careless and reckless, and I didn’t think strongly enough about how it might affect victims and family members of unthinkable acts. Some have pointed out that this could be seen as a tacit endorsement, and I want to clarify that this was never my intention. 


For everyone who felt hurt, angry, or disappointed, I hear you loud and clear, and I deeply apologize. I never meant to cause any harm or division. I was trying to open up a conversation about healing, overcoming adversity, and shining a light in a dark place to create awareness but I see now that I went about it in the wrong way. I take full responsibility for that mistake. 


I also want to directly address the impact this has had on a few people I care deeply about: Joe Hughes and family from Contractor Dynamics, Rob Tokay and family from The Big Fish Contracting Co., and my friends at Beacon Roofing Supply. They didn’t sign up for any of this, and it makes me sick to my stomach to think about the stress and pain my actions have caused them, their families, team members and clients. These are incredible professionals and good friends, and it breaks my heart to see them caught up in this because of my poor judgment. 


I want to address why I believe in talking about tough and uncomfortable topics. I’ve always leaned into being real and authentic in my journey, creating a safe space for conversations about growth, healing, and transformation. I believe that sharing our stories, even the hard/ugly ones, can be a way to shed a layer of our own trauma and help inspire someone else to start their process. But I also understand now that this has to be done with a lot more care and sensitivity.

I know there are people out there who are angry, who’ve criticized me, or even attacked me. I understand where that’s coming from, and harbor no ill will. My hope is we can all come together for the greater good in the future. 


The Big Fish Cares podcast has always been about making a difference, and I care now more than ever. I’m committed to becoming a better human, working on strengthening my discernment, and look to grow from this experience and become someone who better serves human hearts.


To all of you who have reached out to check on me and believe in my intentions, thank you. Your support means the world to me. I promise to be more thoughtful and careful in the future, always trying to create a space where healing and understanding can happen. 


I am also appreciative of the people who got in touch with me to provide very candid and real feedback about my blindspots and poor judgment. That wisdom will impact my life forever and I won’t forget. 


I want to humbly ask for everyone’s forgiveness as I learn from this and do better. Thank you for holding me accountable. 


“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” – Ephesians 4:32

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